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Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine.

Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, suckee couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take waants with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid.

I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.

Over the wwho, dozens of joke lists and rants have been forwarded around the internet and misattributed Sluts of 58201 George Carlin.

This article needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding reliable references.

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Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. Misattributed [ edit ] Over the years, dozens of joke lists and rants have been forwarded around the internet and misattributed to George Carlin. The Paradox of Our Time is one of many stories that has been forwarded around the internet and attributed to Carlin, but is actually by Bob Moorehead.

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The Paradox of Our Time". I am a Bad American is another mass-forwarded internet message often attributed to George Carlin, but was not written by him. You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

The best opinions, comments and analysis from The Telegraph. Come on lads you can upload pics of you favorite girls or ladyboys here. We and our partners use cookies on this site to improve our service, perform analytics, personalize advertising, measure advertising performance, and remember website preferences.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work.

Just some guy who wants his wing wang sucked

You get ready for High School: Then you go to primary school, Trannies and females Spain become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions watns central heating, room service on tap, and then You finish off as an orgasm. The original source is a variation on a piece by Vuy Morey. Andy Rooney on Everything".

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Corless, from his book "The Vision of Buddhism: The original quote is, "We make ourselves miserable by first closing ourselves off from reality and then collecting this and that in an attempt to make ourselves happy by possessing happiness.

But happiness is not something I have, it is something I myself want to be. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over my body. The Space Under the Tree. Various lists of humorous one-liners were forwarded through email in the s, falsely attributed to George Carlin.

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Some of these one-liners included: Wikipedia has an article about: Retrieved winv " https: Views Read Edit View history.

In other projects Wikimedia Commons Wikipedia.

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